The Best Man
by Felis
Summary: A Sirius-centric fic set at the time of James' and Lily's wedding. Petunia is not happy about being in the wedding party. Rating is for a bit of language, and the fact that Sirius and Remus are lovers. Deal with it.
1. Default Chapter

Yes, there is some gentle Sirius/Remus slash. If you haven't figured out by now that they are my favorite pairing in HP fiction, then let this be your wake-up call. The rating is for the occasional swear word and intimations of adult situations.  
  
  
  
The Best Man  
  
Sisters  
  
  
  
Petunia Evans sat on the edge of her bed in a tear-choked fury. She should simply refuse to do it, march out of the house and go off to.to.someplace. A hotel. No, that wouldn't be proper. She'd get a small flat, she'd.she'd.No, she couldn't do that, either. She'd scream her defiance at her parents and her freak sister and never speak to them again. No, then she'd be causing a scene. 'Vernon hates scenes.' Vernon, her steady, dutiful fiancé who will provide for her and their future family, who had good prospects at his new job at Grunnings, who was so normal, just like herself. Besides, it wouldn't do for Vernon's relatives or his business associates to think his bride-to-be came from a questionable family.  
  
The thought of Vernon's dear, pudgy face calmed her down. Sighing, she realized she had no choice. She'd have to go through with it. At least Vernon would be there at the reception. He'd help her through it. And, maybe there was a silver lining in all this. By going as a guest to her sister's wedding, Vernon would better understand how horrible it was to have a witch in the family.  
  
She'd endure it, for Vernon's enlightenment, and to keep peace with her own parents. She'd agree to be Lily's maid-of-honor. Petunia rose to go downstairs and tell Lily she accepted. She stopped short at the top of the stairs as a horrible thought struck her. James Potter would choose the best man. It would undoubtedly be one of them. A warlock or whatever they called the male side of their species. Petunia' whole body went rigid, the tendons in her neck standing out like flying buttresses supporting the weight of the crushing revulsion that filled her head. She'd have to touch him, link arms with him. A cold shudder passed through her. Vernon would be there. She would get through the ceremony and that would be it. Once the reception started, she could stay away from them as much as possible.  
  
And, besides, a lot of regular, normal people would be at this wedding. Her sister's kind would surely not do anything peculiar, would they? Not if they wanted to pass themselves off as real people and not cranks and weirdos. Maybe it would be okay. Surely the best man would conduct himself with proper behavior.  
  
Petunia would have been horrified to know that the best man's view of what constituted proper behavior was a source of concern for the bride-to-be. Lily was well aware of the best man's tendency to regard the phrase 'proper behavior' as an oxymoron. 'Proper behavior' implied that a set of Rules existed which must be followed. The war between Rules and Sirius Black was in a state of constant flux. There was never a clear winner.  
  
Not that Lily begrudged James' selection of best man. She loved Sirius like a brother, too. However, she realized that he had a certain lack of control at times, and there were situations where he simply couldn't resist doing something clever or downright outrageous. He knew Petunia detested the very idea of magic and he just might take it into his handsome, shaggy head to make the wedding ceremony as unforgettable to Petunia as it would be to the happy couple. The thought of Petunia's reaction to even the mildest of Sirius' pranks made Lily's stomach lurch.  
  
Lily dearly wanted Petunia to put aside her prejudices towards wizards and be happy for her, even if it was just for her wedding day. She'd have to make sure Sirius understood how important this was to her. She'd extract a promise from him that he would absolutely, unequivocally be on his most exemplary behavior.  
  
Once she had that promise, then she'd also request a favor. And, the favor, she feared, would cause pain. She already hurt herself just thinking about it. She knew it distressed James and she feared it would wound Sirius and Remus Lupin, another of her closest, dearest friends.  
  
Lily had to ask Sirius and Remus to hide their relationship. Same-sex couples were accepted by most in the wizard world, although not necessarily with open arms. Even so, wizards were more tolerant than Muggles. She had tried to explain to her pure blood friends why this was so, but they remained puzzled. To them, love between two people mattered. Gender didn't. But, Lily knew that if Petunia had any inkling of the relationship between James' best man and one of his groomsmen, she would not only refuse to accept the role of maid-of-honor, she'd probably boycott the wedding.  
  
On Friday evening Lily waited for her fiancé to arrive, along with his closest friends. A casual dinner was planned, although Lily thought that the lump in her stomach would prevent her from ever eating again. All too soon, the young men arrived at her flat. She had originally thought to wait until after dinner to broach the subject, but didn't think she could possibly last that long.  
  
With an apologetic look at James, Lily explained her situation to Remus and Sirius. She tried to impress on them how important it was to her to preserve peace within her family. She asked for their support. And she begged for their forgiveness, because, on the day she and James would proudly proclaim their love to the whole world, she was asking her friends to publicly deny their own love for each other.  
  
"I don't have the right to ask this of you. I feel like such a traitor to you and to James and to what I know is right. But, I don't want to frighten off the one part of my family that's left alive. I don't want to alienate Petunia. Please forgive me, but I have to ask you to hide the fact that you're lovers. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But, please."  
  
Lily struggled to hold back her tears. It was a hopeless task, especially when Remus and Sirius leapt to their feet and swept her into their arms, assuring her that they would support her in any way possible. Their declaration only made her cry harder because she knew what true, wonderful friends she had. She fell apart completely, one arm around each of them, sobbing and holding them tight to her, while James and Peter hovered anxiously in the background.  
  
  
  
The Day After the Stag Party  
  
  
  
"Rise and shine, my adorable, well-hung, hung-over crumpet!" Remus chirped brightly. "You don't want to be late for work."  
  
"Oh, fuck work."mumbled Sirius, certain that his current state was anything but adorable, uncaring about his physical attributes, but acutely aware of being hung-over. If he lay very still, maybe Remus would go off to work and let him lie here in peaceful misery.  
  
The persistent tugging on the bedclothes was not a good sign. "Remember how much begging and pleading you had to do to arrange to leave work early today. I'm sure your Eunuch Head won't be too pleased if you don't show up at all."  
  
Sirius cautiously sat up and tried to glare at his disgustingly chipper lover. "That's Unit Head, you fleabag." The roiling queasiness in his stomach and the sharp pounding behind his eyeballs muted much of the effect of the glare. Sirius' supervisor in the Department of Mysteries had held the position of Unit Head, Special Projects, for decades and seemed to be more concerned with bureaucratic conformity than with doing a good job, much to Remus' cynical delight and Sirius' frustrated imagination.  
  
Remus smiled sweetly into the bloodshot pale blue eyes . "Can I make you some breakfast? Full English? Fried kippers? Eggs wallowing in pools of butter? Thick, greasy sausages?" He stopped, chuckling, at the greenish tinge that had suffused Sirius' face. "Maybe not."  
  
"Not. Definitely not." With a groan, Sirius hauled himself unsteadily out of bed and wobbled towards the bathroom. Remus heard the distinctive, if rather unpleasant, sound of dry heaves, followed by mumbled moaning.  
  
"No one forced you and James to split that last bottle of Culpepper's Old Vines."  
  
"It was a stag party. For our stag. Getting drunk is required behavior at a stag."  
  
While Peter and several other friends had assisted James home, Remus had dealt with Sirius. No one had dared attempt Apparation. He thought about their reeling trip back to their flat, as he had half-carried a thoroughly soused Sirius through the streets. Being a cheerful and chatty drunk, Sirius had kept up a running monologue assessing the events of the evening, interspersed with snatches of lewd drinking songs and sappy love ballads, which he warbled to Remus or serenaded to startled passers-by who happened to catch his attention. Not to mention the limericks he made up, which, Remus knew, he'd have no recollection of today. What was the one about Binns? Remus was rather fuzzy on the details since he had been rather sloshed himself, but he thought it went something like:  
  
There was an old ghostie named Binns Who's students all paid for his sins, He bored us to tears, in spite of our jeers, And drove us all out of our skins.  
  
"You'll be back here by 2:00?" Remus called into the bathroom.  
  
"Yes, and all my stuff is packed, so we can hop on the bike and take off."  
  
  
  
"See you later." Smiling, Remus left for work, pleased that Sirius had actually planned ahead and prepared for their trip to Northampton for the wedding. Waiting until the last minute was his mate's usual style, which always meant delays while missing clothes were dug out of the laundry and hurriedly cleaned with imperfect spells. Could this be more evidence that Sirius truly had matured from the somewhat irresponsible, wildly impulsive student he used to be?  
  
Sirius managed to get through his morning comparatively smoothly, considering how rotten he felt. However, as the day advanced, he started having cravings for massive quantities of protein, a sure sign that the end of his hangover was near. All he needed were several huge helpings of beef stew or a mountain of shepherd's pie or a whole, fat, roasted chicken, and he'd be fine. Walking across the street, he poked his head into James' office to see if his best friend was up to eating lunch.  
  
James was still rather fragile, but Sirius jollied him into admitting he needed nourishment, so the two headed for the Laughing Cat pub. As they settled into a booth, Sirius looked beyond James and started reading the list of items on the specials board. "Hmmm.Various soups and salads and,.wait. Here's what we need! Roast beef with Yorkshire pudding! Pork chops and mashed potatoes!"  
  
The look in the ice blue eyes suddenly blazed with a fierce, carnivorous intensity. "Yesss!! Steak and kidney pie!!" His smile could have struck terror into the hearts of prey animals the world over.  
  
James blanched. "Ugh! Steak and kidney pie! We hate steak and kidney pie!"  
  
"I love it when I'm hung over." Sirius was practically drooling with rapturous organ lust.  
  
"Great, and I get to watch you eat it."  
  
"I'll eat quickly."  
  
"The way you look now, you're ready to reach inside some poor animal, yank out its kidneys and devour them raw."  
  
If James thought that vision would dampen some of Sirius' meat craving, he was sadly mistaken. If anything, the ravenous hunger for flesh seemed additionally titillated by the idea of eating raw kidneys. At moments like these James thought the reason Sirius' Animagus form turned out to be a very large canine was due more to his protein driven stomach rather than his firmly loyal heart. 


	2. Chapter 2

Recap: Petunia Evans has agreed to be Lily's maid-of-honor, while not giving up her abhorrence of anything or anyone magical. The boys threw a stag party for James, which left the groom and his best man somewhat crispy on the following day. Now, it's time for the rehearsal, the wedding and a proposal.  
  
  
  
Evening of the Rehearsal  
  
Vernon Dursley glared at the bellhop. "Never mind. I'll take care of those." Hmph. He didn't need some cheeky, little bugger to carry his two small cases to his room, only to hold out a hand for a tip. He checked his watch. Time enough to settle into his hotel room and get a quick nap before he had to head off to the rehearsal dinner. As he stood at the front desk, the roar of a large motorcycle shook the windows at the front of the building. Vernon frowned at the woman behind the desk. "Surely you're not renting rooms to gangs of leather-clad hooligans, are you?"  
  
She smiled brightly at him. "No, sir, most everyone booked here for the next few nights is attending the Evans-Potter wedding." With fake concern she added, "I suppose the bride and groom *could* be members of a some sort of gang, but the manager didn't give me any indication of that." She winked.  
  
Vernon's eyes narrowed. 'Was she one of Them?'  
  
His attention was distracted by the two young men who came through the front door. They immediately turned to the right, half hidden by a display of tourist brochures. A moment later they came back into his sight, each carrying a suitcase. Vernon could have sworn that there had been nothing in their hands when they came through the door. That thought was banished by the realization that both men were wearing leather jackets. And the taller one was also wearing leather pants. Hooligans. Definitely.  
  
Believing that it was always best to establish one's rights and territory before anyone else took advantage, Vernon stepped over to the men and interrupted their check-in process.  
  
"Were you driving that loud machine I heard a few moments ago?" He said sternly.  
  
Mr. All-Leather turned to him. "If you mean the motorcycle, yes, it's mine." He smiled and started to say something. "Are you here for---"  
  
"Well, I certainly hope you won't be riding around on it at all hours disturbing the other guests' sleep. I work hard for a living, I'm only here because my fiancee's sister is getting married tomorrow and I don't need to be kept awake all night by that racket." He glared fiercely, his mustache bristling with indignation. It didn't help his mood to realize that the man he was addressing was probably only a few years younger than himself, several inches taller and very good-looking.  
  
The other man at the desk now looked at Vernon. "Oh, you must be Petunia Evans' fiancé. How do you do? I'm Remus Lupin and this is Sirius Black." Remus extended his hand, smiling.  
  
Caught out by this display of politeness, Vernon felt he had no choice but to respond in kind. Grudgingly he quickly shook hands with both men, muttered several insincere pleasantries and decided to beat a retreat to his room.  
  
Remus glanced over at Sirius as they walked to their own room. "Lily will be pleased to find out you resisted hexing her sister's intended, in spite of provocation."  
  
Sirius smirked. "Note I also resisted kissing you in front of him. I can wait for my revenge. Somehow I think old Vernon won't be at all happy to find out I'm the best man."  
  
The wedding rehearsal went off with only a minor Sirius-induced hitch. Lily couldn't help keeping an anxious eye on his interactions with Petunia . The first time Petunia was required to take his arm she stared at it as if she expected it to fly off his body and turn into something designed to frighten small children. Sirius, Lily saw, blithely overlooked Petunia's hesitation and, instead, gave her one of his million-candle smiles. He managed to strike exactly the right level of charm, without veering into smarminess. It took a while, but Petunia gradually seemed to relax and even smiled occasionally at Sirius' quiet jokes. Maybe Lily was mistaken, but she would almost swear she saw Petunia bat her eyes once or twice at her tall, attractive escort. The butterflies in her stomach settled down quietly.  
  
The minister walked them through the ceremony, making sure everyone was comfortable. Lily stood at the altar between Petunia and James, with Sirius to James' right. The minister quickly outlined what he would say and do, and indicated at what point Sirius should have their wedding rings at hand. A rather guilty look flashed across the best man's handsome features as his eyes locked with James'. "Rings? James, you didn't give me the rings last night, did you?"  
  
James' expression mingled disbelief and horror as he attempted to keep his voice low and under control. "Yes, I did! Don't tell me you've lost them!"  
  
Lily sensed Petunia's posture stiffen next to her. A bewildered Sirius reached up one hand to scratch behind his ear and then he smiled beatifically at them. "Oh, here they are! I knew they had to be somewhere." He brought his hand down in front of them, and there, lying on his palm, were the two gold rings.  
  
"Idiot," mumbled James unconvincingly, aware that he had been taken in by the oldest wedding joke in the book. Lily glanced quickly at Petunia and saw she was staring hard at Sirius. Lily couldn't be sure if that was because she didn't like the joke, or if she believed that Sirius had indeed conjured the rings out of his own ear. Either way, it threatened the fragile balance she had with Petunia and Sirius needed to be reminded to behave. She loudly cleared her throat, glaring at him. He feigned innocence. She frowned. He smiled.  
  
The minister saved them all. "At this point I will lead you in saying your vows, you will place the rings on each other's hand and we'll complete the ceremony. Then the bride and groom will lead the wedding procession to the church doors. Alright, turn and off you go down the aisle." As Lily walked towards the church doors, her arm linked through James', she could here the low murmur of Sirius' voice behind her, followed by what sounded like a giggle from Petunia. She resisted the urge to turn around to look at them, waiting until they formed a receiving line at the doors. Petunia stood calmly next to Sirius, gazing raptly up at him. Sirius caught Lily's eyes and winked. She was left to wonder. Did he talk his way back into Petunia's good graces or had he perhaps placed a mild Cheering Charm on her? Several of her stomach butterflies took flight once more.  
  
Back at the Hotel  
  
James, Peter, Remus and Sirius sauntered into the hotel lobby after a blessedly uneventful rehearsal dinner. They paused, looking through the door into the bar, but then wordlessly agreed that the wine they consumed at dinner was more than enough for one evening. As they turned towards the stairs to their rooms, Vernon Dursley stalked in. He nodded stiffly at them, glared at Sirius, and marched purposefully up the stairs.  
  
James raised his eyebrows at his best friend. "You didn't do anything to Petunia that escaped my notice, did you?"  
  
Sirius frowned. "Like what?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know. Pinch her, kiss her, leer suggestively at her."  
  
The other three regarded James with some concern, as if they thought he had lost his mind.  
  
"I was the perfect gentleman. And she seemed fine to me, except when she had to hide her disgust when doing revolting things like taking my arm when we walked down the aisle." Sirius looked blankly at Peter and Remus. "Why would he think I'd have any possible desire to kiss her!?"  
  
The others snickered. "Maybe because Vernon doesn't seem to like you very much," Peter suggested. "You're better looking than he is. And towards the end of the rehearsal, Petunia seemed a bit smitten with you."  
  
Remus agreed. "Vernon probably thinks you've cast a spell on her with your blue, bedroom eyes so you can steal her away from him."  
  
Sirius shuddered at the thought. "I'd be more than happy to put his mind at rest by shagging you senseless right in front of him, but, since we made that promise to Lily, I guess Vernon is just going to have to deal with it."  
  
As they entered their room, Remus turned to his mate and pushed him up against their door, the weight of their bodies slamming it shut. One hand reached out to lock the door, and then slide around Sirius' back. The other hand swept up to the back of his head, grasping the thick, black hair and pulling the dark head to him. Their lips met in a long, moist kiss. "What was that you said about shagging me senseless?" Remus murmured against the hungry mouth that savored him.  
  
"Umm.I said something about doing it in front of Vernon." Sirius pulled his head back, an impish grin on his face. "Want an audience, do you, you kinky boy?"  
  
Remus stepped backwards, pulling Sirius towards the bed. "I want you. Just you. Now. Especially since I couldn't have you last night." Their hands worked quickly to remove each other's clothing.  
  
Falling onto the bed beneath Remus' persistent onslaught, Sirius chuckled. "You could have done anything you wanted to me last night. I was incapable of getting up the strength to resist you." He sighed with pleasure at the feel of Remus' skilled hands and tongue traveling across his flesh.  
  
Remus nipped at his shoulder. "You were so drunk you couldn't get anything up worth mentioning."  
  
"Then let me redeem myself.."  
  
In the room one floor above them, Vernon Dursley fretted alone in his bed. As he tried to get comfortable, he heard disturbing noises in the darkness. Low, gasping moans, and half-formed words uttered in two distinctly male voices. Vernon flung the covers over his head to drown out what he knew were the sounds of two poofs engaging in lewd, disgusting behavior. "Probably both wizards." he snarled.  
  
Vernon couldn't decide which was worse, poofs or low-life scum that would try to steal another man's betrothed. He growled with annoyance, thinking of the expression on Petunia's face, *his* Petunia, when she looked at that black-haired devil. That freakish, leather-clad git, with his long legs and long lashes and long.whatever. Petunia seemed to genuinely like him. And after years of whining about her sister and how horrible it was to be exposed to magic. Now, she was practically panting to run off with that wanker. Vernon knew the type. Love 'em and leave 'em. Probably left a string of broken-hearted women wherever his loud, offensive motorcycle took him. Motorcycles. Hmmph! Undoubtedly some sort of over-compensation for whatever was lacking elsewhere.  
  
Vernon's ruminations were interrupted with a man's half-smothered cry from below. "Oh, God, that's it! Yes! Yes!"  
  
Vernon buried his head under the pillow.  
  
The Wedding  
  
The morning light had an extra glow, as if to gild the ceremony uniting Lily Evans and James Potter. The sun reflected fire from Lily's hair and ice from the glittering jewels on her gown. Petunia walked down the aisle, feeling almost pretty. She caught Vernon's glance and smiled warmly at him. Then her eyes turned to the man standing next to the groom, waiting for her. Her smile broadened and she imagined, just for a moment, that this was her day, and she was about to wed a devastatingly handsome man, making her the envy of everyone she knew.  
  
With a sinking feeling, Sirius smiled back, a friendly, completely platonic greeting devoid of any romantic overtones. His stomach sank because he recognized the look Petunia bestowed on him. He had received that look countless times in his life. Petunia, like others before her, had obviously constructed some sort of scenario about him in her head. If his luck held, she wouldn't follow up The Look with anything more than a bit of flirting. If luck turned against him, he'd have to act oblivious to her. It made him feel vaguely guilty. Maybe he could avoid these complications if he tattooed a note on his forehead "Unavailable for love or sex. Already taken - Countless times."  
  
The ceremony proceeded smoothly. Once Lily and James were at the altar, all eyes, including Petunia's, were on them. Lily was radiant. She shone from some incandescent inner light that fired the very air around her. James, too, blazed with the force of his emotions, giving him an almost regal bearing that even his perpetually messy hair could not diminish.  
  
As they recited their vows to each other, Sirius felt a lump form in his throat. He forgot all about Petunia. He was filled with the stark, beautiful solemnity of the meaning of those vows. In spite of the darkness in the world that swirled around them, these two brave, wonderful people insisted on walking together to face whatever dangers lay in wait. He could not imagine that any evil force could withstand the combined brightness of their love and joy. He glanced towards Remus, suddenly wanting nothing more than to bound down the altar steps, grab Remus by the hand and haul him up in front of the minister to speak their own vows. Remus stared back at him with a look that took his breath away. Petunia's gaze had been full of warmth; Remus' burned his soul.  
  
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."  
  
And, suddenly, the wedding was over. They were all gathered at the back of the church waiting to greet the guests and well-wishers as they left the building. Sirius had time to wrap James in a bear-hug, muttering a strangled, "Congratulations, Prongs." They stared at each other, their ability to speak stifled by their emotions. Sirius then hugged Lily, being careful not to mess up her gown. "Congratulations to you, too, Lils."  
  
She kissed him. "Thank you so much. For everything." she said fondly. She held him firmly by the shoulders, a knowing smile playing about her lips. "Any chance you'll be saying those vows sometime soon?"  
  
He grinned. "Toss me the bouquet and we'll see what happens!"  
  
Petunia looked at him questioningly. Neither Lily nor Sirius enlightened her.  
  
  
  
The Reception - and a Proposal  
  
The wedding party posed for pictures at the church. Everyone was in high spirits, although Sirius had an increasingly hard time escaping the grasp of Petunia's claw-like fingers. Finally, they sorted themselves into the waiting limousines for the ride to the reception. Sirius tried to arrange to sit next to bridesmaids Fiona Kavanagh or Anne Crenshaw, but somehow, Petunia managed to lurch onto the seat next to him. The other members of the wedding party in the car were devising a betting pool on who would catch the bouquet and left Sirius to deal with Petunia. As the car started off, Sirius knew he had to say something, if only to jar Petunia out of her increasingly obvious fascination.  
  
"Well, Lily certainly looked beautiful, didn't she?" Mentally, he kicked himself for his precipitate fall into wedding triteness.  
  
Petunia nodded slowly. "Yes, she did. Well, she's always been pretty. And smart. And talented at what you people.do.or.conjure.or...I'm not sure what the proper word is." Her voice trailed off.  
  
She had spoken without rancor or jealousy, and Sirius felt a twinge of sympathy for her. Petunia was not pretty. He had no idea how smart she was or what sorts of skills she had. All he knew for certain about her was that she had always been close-minded about wizards. But, maybe she was fearful because she simply didn't understand.  
  
The limo banked too quickly around a sharp turn, causing Petunia to lean against Sirius. As the car straightened out, she sat back, but did not move all the way to her original position. Her thigh rested against his. Acting as natural as possible, he inched away from her. Several moments later, her thigh followed him. Glancing past her, Sirius saw Remus watching them surreptitiously. His mouth was twisted slightly in an expression Sirius recognized. Remus was biting the inside of his lip to keep from laughing. A silky, golden-brown brow cocked inquisitively at Sirius, silently asking how his raven-haired mate intended to extricate himself from potential Petunia entanglements. Sirius noted sourly that Remus offered no assistance, and instead, appeared to be anticipating a measure of entertainment from Sirius' predicament.  
  
He opted to travel the obvious route. "What will you do once you and Vernon get married?"  
  
"Vernon?" For a crazy moment, Sirius got the distinct impression that she had no idea who he was talking about. "Oh, Vernon. Well, he's got a job at Grunnings. They make drills. In Surrey. We'll get a house and raise a family."  
  
"Do you intend to have a career?"  
  
"I'll take care of Vernon and the house and our children." She didn't seem particularly excited at the prospect. Her leg slid away from his. He breathed a quiet sigh of relief.  
  
The Seddington Arms was done up from the floor to the rafters with wedding decorations. The guests were already seated in the banquet room and rose to welcome the wedding party as they were introduced. James and Lily started the first dance alone, moving to the strains of one of Lily's favorite Muggle songs. The tune was vaguely familiar to Sirius, but he couldn't remember the title. As the rest of the wedding party joined the newlyweds on the dance floor, Sirius asked Petunia if she recognized the song.  
  
She looked at him as if he had gone mad. "It's 'As Time Goes By.' From 'Casablanca.' " The look on Petunia's face was even more appalled than when she had first had to touch him at last night's rehearsal.  
  
"Oh, right. That movie. I've never seen it." At least, he hoped it was a movie. Petunia's glare softened, so Sirius assumed he'd said the right thing. She moved closer to him, and he deftly spun her in a gentle circle. She was delighted until she sensed that he had used the maneuver to change the position of his hands. Now, being the stronger of the two, he was able to subtly push back against her to keep that precious sliver of daylight between their bodies. The song ended, and the band immediately launched into another tune. Sirius felt a hard rap on his shoulder and turned to find Vernon Dursley impatiently waiting to cut in. He reminded Sirius of an ill-tempered walrus simmering at a half-boil. Smiling graciously, Sirius relinquished Petunia's hand and fled towards the bar.  
  
A familiar, wise voice chuckled behind him. "Are you fortifying yourself for the toast, Sirius, or are you simply glad to get out of that woman's clutches?"  
  
Sirius turned to the white-haired man who had appeared from nowhere. He grinned at Albus Dumbledore, resplendent in a tuxedo with a bright purple cummerbund. "Headmaster! I believe this is the first time I've seen you in Muggle clothing. You look quite dapper."  
  
"Thank you, my boy. I knew I had to leave the dress robes at home. But, I don't mind climbing into this get-up every now and then." His twinkling blue eyes turned sober. "How do you like working at the Department of Mysteries?"  
  
Sirius was about to make a standard, run-of-the-mill answer, but then he stopped. Dumbledore had always tried to foster his students' desire to learn, although he also had to temper that desire with discipline where the Marauders were concerned. He was well acquainted with Sirius' own brand of invention and unorthodox problem-solving. So, Sirius answered him honestly.  
  
"It's frustrating. People come to us with problems to solve, or questions about whether specific spells or charms can be adapted to unusual situations, or issues about developing new applications, and we never seem to go anywhere. My assignments always require me to look into new ways to do things. I do, and my supervisor gravely nods his head and decides that we should stick with the status quo. I'm wasting my time. Magic is static in my department. It should be alive and growing and changing. Especially now, with all that's happening. We seem to be burying our heads in the sand, hoping that the Death Eaters will get bored and go off to the Caribbean for a permanent holiday."  
  
Dumbledore laughed gently. "I confess, I was worried about you when I learned where you were going to work. I've heard a few things about the people running that Department and I was afraid that a great deal of their time would end up being devoted to smothering your imagination."  
  
"Couldn't you have warned me?" Sirius asked wistfully.  
  
"My information was second-hand, and thus, could have been wrong. Plus, I didn't think a stint at the Ministry would do you any real harm." His eyes twinkled again. "But, since the Mysteries people obviously don't know what to do with you, perhaps you would be interested in making a change. Perhaps you'd like to come and work with me."  
  
Sirius was horrified. "I'm not qualified to teach! I'd hand out detentions to students for *not* breaking the rules. Professor McGonagall and I would probably come to blows."  
  
Dumbledore chortled briefly, no doubt amused by the vision of Minerva and Sirius engaged in a Wizard Transfiguration duel, but his expression quickly turned sober. "No, not as a teacher. I work with a number of talented witches and wizards whose main concern now is in fighting Voldemort and his followers. Not necessarily through direct armed confrontation, although occasionally that happens. Rather, we gather intelligence, research new spells, develop counter-curses, and generally find ways to defeat the Dark Arts."  
  
Sirius' drink rested on the bar, forgotten, as he listened to his ex- Headmaster. Albus noted how intensely the young wizard focused on his words. He remembered the student very well - intelligent, impulsive, imaginative, a talented youth with great, latent power. Now he was a young man who was just beginning to come into his own. Albus had high hopes for this one.  
  
"Sirius, we work in almost complete secrecy. And some of what we do is very dangerous. We have lost people to injury, torture and death. I guarantee that the risk to all of us will only increase as Voldemort gets stronger. I guarantee more of us will die." He paused, assessing the effect of his words. Sirius' eyes never wavered.  
  
"But, I believe this is a fight that must be fought. And, I believe we can use someone with your skills. Do not speak of this to anyone, not even Remus or James. But, if you are interested, come to Hogwarts on the first day of July. I will tell you more at that time. If you decide not to accept my invitation, all I ask is, again, that you do not speak of this."  
  
Sirius nodded slowly. "I'll see you on July first."  
  
Dumbledore smiled. "Well, then, that's settled. Where is Lily? I promised to tango with her." He turned and moved across the room.  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter 3

Recap: Petunia thinks Sirius is not half bad. Vernon is cranky at the wedding because of Petunia's growing interest in the wizard and because he didn't sleep well, due to the love-making that went on in the room below him. Sirius wants nothing to do with either one of them. Dumbledore shows up at the wedding and offers Sirius a new job.  
  
Disclamer: I think I keep forgetting to drop these in. They're all JK Rowling's characters. I simply borrow them to place them in situations we'll probably never see in the upcoming books.  
  
  
  
The Reception - and Another Proposal  
  
  
  
The early summer evening began to darken. The western sky still shone with the golden pink rays of the setting sun even as the eastern sky turned a rich, deep blue. The boldest and brightest stars began to twinkle. The music and laughter of the wedding guests receded as Sirius slipped away from the reception. Lily and James had just departed on their honeymoon, and the party was winding down. Sirius walked slowly through the elaborate gardens at the back of the Seddington Arms. His path eventually led him to an arbor heavy with wisteria. He had a lot on his mind.  
  
The heady joy of the wedding, reflected in every glance that Lily and James exchanged, was mellowed by the certain knowledge of the death and destruction that lurked somewhere in the darkness. It was like the scent that appears during the last days of summer, when the sun is still strong and the days linger, but the crisp aroma of autumn wafts through the air, almost unnoticed. Dumbledore's proposal was a grim reminder of the real world. And Sirius knew in his heart that he would not hesitate to take on any task his Headmaster might give him, no matter the danger.  
  
But, what about Remus? Could he keep these kinds of secrets from his lover? What sort of trust existed between them, if he acted according to Dumbledore's instructions, and kept Remus in the dark? He couldn't. It wasn't fair. To keep silent would be a betrayal. But, would it keep Remus safer?  
  
He made a decision. He would go and hear what Albus had to say. He would keep that meeting a secret. But, afterwards, if he felt he should join Dumbledore's forces, they would have to accept that he would tell Remus what he was doing. Not the details, perhaps. But Remus deserved to know that Sirius might leave their flat one morning and die before nightfall.  
  
A hand lightly gripped his shoulder. With a gasp Sirius spun around in mid- air. "Whoa, easy there," Remus soothed, taking a half-step back from the raised fists of his startled lover.  
  
"Remus, for God's sake! Give me heart failure, why don't you?"  
  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to sneak up on you." Glancing about, he made sure they were alone and then slid his arms around his slightly taller mate, enveloping him in a warm embrace. Sirius hugged him back. Staring into Remus' eyes, feeling their toasty warmth even as the light around them faded, Sirius blurted out, "We should say our own vows."  
  
A vertical worry line appeared between the honey-brown eyebrows "Vows?"  
  
"Yes, vows. Between you and me. I want to marry you, Remus."  
  
With a mixture of exasperation and affection, Remus replied, "Are you daft? We can't get married. Wizard law doesn't permit marriage between members of the same sex, and, even if it did, we still couldn't. Not legally. I'm a werewolf, remember?"  
  
Sirius shook his head impatiently. "I know, I know. I know all that. But, we wouldn't be doing it to comply with what's legal. We'd be doing it for ourselves. We'd stand in front of our friends and families and publicly proclaim our love for each other. That's what I'm talking about. Laws and regulations and notarized pieces of paper have nothing to do with how we feel. Why shouldn't we create our own celebratory ceremony?"  
  
Remus drew breath to answer, but then paused. Sirius saw the sudden change of expression and knew that Remus had no logical response to his question. Rather, as they looked at each other, the werewolf's sinfully delicious lips slowly curved into a smile. Remus rarely had the power to resist those starlit blue eyes when they looked at him with that peculiar blend of earnestness, inspiration and affection, and tonight was no exception.  
  
Smiling more broadly, he finally spoke. "Well, yes, why shouldn't we?" And then was completely nonplussed when his lover dropped to one knee, grabbed his hand and spoke with more seriousness than Remus had ever heard from him before. "Remus, without you, I am bereft. With you, I am complete. I love you passionately, completely, and endlessly. Will you marry me?"  
  
The smile faded from Remus' face, perhaps because all his emotional energy had rushed to fill his heart to bursting. Fighting to speak around the lump in his throat he answered with just one whispered word. "Yes."  
  
Then he hauled Sirius to his feet, swept him into a tight embrace and kissed him, a kiss like the gift of gentle, drenching rain to a parched land. Sirius' arms held him tight, as if seeking to meld them into one body. They stood close for a long time, their lips and tongues exploring each other's mouths like the first time, as if it was all new to them. Breathless, they finally parted, eyes sweeping over each other's faces, reassuring themselves that, yes, Sirius had asked, yes, Remus had answered and, yes, they were in complete agreement.  
  
The muted sound of voices from the reception brought them back to themselves. Remus whispered, "Let's go back in, say goodnight to whoever's left, head to the hotel and go to bed."  
  
As they started walking back through the gardens, now deeply shadowed by dusk, Sirius pulled Remus close once more. "Just one more kiss." It didn't even occur to Remus to resist.  
  
Vernon and Petunia stepped out into the garden for a breath of air before he took her home and headed back to the hotel. All things considered, Vernon had rather enjoyed himself. The food was good and plentiful, and he had managed to keep a proprietary hand on Petunia during most of the festivities. His authoritative air had finally driven off that beastly best man. His rival for Petunia's affections had kept away from her once Vernon claimed her on the dance floor, although the man had danced at least twice with every other woman there. 'Busy selecting his next victim, no doubt,' Vernon mused silently. Well, he'd not get anywhere near Petunia.  
  
Vernon slipped Petunia's arm through his own as they walked silently along the path. The fresh air felt good; the nighttime insects were chirping their primordial song. But there was an undercurrent of some other sound, something Vernon found uncomfortably familiar. There! Those tones! Those voices! Those men! The same ones he had heard last night from the room below his! And they were here, in the garden, moaning and sighing and doing God knows what. With a wave of his hand he warned Petunia to be quiet. Her head swiveled uncertainly back and forth on her neck, like an elderly, and somewhat deaf turtle.  
  
Together they crept closer to the muted voices. As they reached a break in the hedges they stopped short, speechless, at what they saw.  
  
It was he. Sirius Black. Both Vernon and Petunia would recognize that tall form, those well-balanced shoulders, anywhere, even in the darkened garden. He was with someone; someone with one arm clutched tight around his lower back, the fingers of the other hand buried in the long, dark hair. Someone wearing an identical tuxedo.  
  
It was all too much for Petunia and Vernon. "OOOHHHH!!" They both uttered the same strangled cry, eyes wide in titillated horror.  
  
The two men separated slightly, both turning to face their interlopers. Sirius smiled at them, "Oh, hello. Nice night for a stroll in the garden." He drew the other man close to him. They saw it was another member of the wedding party, Remus Lupin, who leaned against Sirius, his arm still wrapped tightly around the long, lean figure.  
  
"Well! I never." Vernon sputtered incoherently, his face rapidly turning a mottled purple that rivaled the deep jewel tones of the sky. "This.this is disgusting! Immoral! Filthy!" He pushed Petunia behind him. "And to think that Petunia had to.to.touch you!"  
  
Sirius' expression turned slightly wicked. "Be happy my intentions towards her were never less than pure."  
  
Petunia uttered a mewling cry and then her lips thinned in a rictus of repulsion. "I only agreed to be in this wedding to make my parents happy! Oh, it's bad enough that my precious sister is such a freak, but, now, to find out her friends are.are."  
  
"Gay." Remus supplied, in his calmest, most rational voice.  
  
OOHH!!" With one more outraged huff, Vernon and Petunia scurried back to the safety of the reception.  
  
"Oops," Remus muttered insincerely. He and Sirius eyed each other, both clearly wondering how much trouble they had just set loose, and both not really caring. They burst into laughter and Remus chortled, "Do we or don't we use a silencing charm tonight?"  
  
"Well, if we don't, I'm sure Vernon will be pounding on our ceiling or having the manager break down our door. On the other hand, if we use one, then he'll think he's scared us straight, so to speak."  
  
"Oh, let him think what he wants. *I* don't want any interruptions, as I intend to make love to you until daybreak."  
  
"Mmmmm, that sounds like heaven. And just think. While we're drowning in each other, Vernon will be up there all alone, with only his clammy, but chaste heterosexual hands to give him comfort."  
  
"Please! That's not a pretty picture."  
  
"What picture would you prefer?"  
  
Remus pressed against him, and began describing the vision in his mind, using his hands to lightly stroke the objects of his fascination. "Waves of long, black hair against a snowy pillow. Pale blue eyes flaming like torches with lust and love. Tanned, muscled arms and legs reaching up to wrap themselves around me. And, of course, a big, hard, beautiful cock demanding attention. Lots and lots of attention."  
  
"Stop! Enough! Let's get out of here!"  
  
  
  
Epilogue - Seventeen Years Later  
  
The stifling silence of Privet Drive seemed almost unnatural as Sirius cut the engine of the motorcycle. Night was falling as he walked along the driveway, catching the admiring glances of several local teens. The boys were staring at the bike; the girls were staring at him. Remus was right. He could still turn heads, in spite of the lingering physical effects of prison.  
  
He needed to gain weight and recapture the sleekly powerful muscle tone he once had. To be truthful, he needed to regain some of his magical skills, too. There were some advanced spells he simply couldn't remember and others he had trouble performing. He'd be in deep shit if cornered in a dark cave by more than two Dementors. His Patronus was a shaky, pale, almost formless blob, rather than the brilliant, blazing comet it used to be.  
  
But, these neighborhood kids knew nothing of magic. What they saw was a darkly attractive man, dressed in black jeans, black boots, and black leather jacket over a white tee shirt, who rode a powerful bike. If they only knew how powerful, Sirius thought with amusement.  
  
He rang the doorbell at 4 Privet Drive. A very rotund teen opened the door, staring mistrustfully at Sirius. "Who is it, Dudley?" came a man's voice from the living room beyond.  
  
"A biker," replied Dudley, his porcine eyes rolling back and forth between the stranger in the doorway and the motorcycle in the driveway.  
  
"Good evening," Sirius said pleasantly. "I'm here to see Harry Potter." Dudley abruptly stepped back, his eyes taking on the look of a deer confronted by a wolf.  
  
"There's no one by that name here!" The man from the living room barreled into the hallway, stopping short when he got a good look at the stranger at his door. In the meantime, Petunia Dursley came in from the kitchen and also reared up suddenly at the sight of Sirius. Footsteps sounded from upstairs.  
  
"Petunia, Vernon, it's a pleasure to see you again." Sirius said politely, edging past Dudley and into the hall. "I'm here to bring Harry to live with me."  
  
"Sirius!" yelled Harry happily as he clattered down the staircase. He gave a warm embrace to his godfather and a sharp glance at his uncle. "I *told* you he'd come and get me tonight."  
  
"Hello, Harry. Is your trunk still packed?"  
  
"Yes. It's upstairs. I'll get it."  
  
"Drag it to the top of the stairs and I'll reduce it for you."  
  
Unaccustomed to being ignored in his own home, Vernon pushed between the two wizards. "Just what do you think you're doing? You can't barge in here and expect to take my nephew away!"  
  
"I'm his guardian as well as his godfather, Vernon. You have no legal right to keep him here."  
  
"If you think for one minute that I'll let my nephew be dragged off to live with a.a."  
  
"Poof? Queer?" Sirius smiled an icy, deadly smile, a smile Harry had seen stop Snape dead in his tracks. It caused a line of sweat to spring up on Vernon's brow. "I see you're still more homophobic than wizard-phobic."  
  
"We're just trying to protect him from bad things. We've always done right by the boy," Petunia broke in, moving to stand shoulder to shoulder with her husband. "Even though he's not normal, we've given him everything he needs - food, shelter, clothing."  
  
Sirius exploded into twisted laughter, a sound as harsh as metal tearing apart. "Oh, yes, that's all any child needs! Enforced diets, hand-me-down clothing, lies about his parents, ridicule and punishment because he's different than you. I notice you didn't mention love, or tenderness or affection."  
  
With a flick of his fingers, Sirius made the door to the closet under the stairs spring open. The Dursleys all gasped and took a step back as Sirius stalked by them to stare into the confined space. His eyes snapped back to the Dursleys, the menacing smile replaced by an even more bone-chilling impassivity. "I cannot stomach the thought of people trapped in small, enclosed spaces. I spent twelve years in a prison cell for a crime I did not commit. My godson spent eleven years in a prison that you created for him. And you have the gall to stand there and tell me you've given Harry everything he needs? And that this perversion of familial duty is a better environment for a boy than for him to live with a pair of men who love each other, and who also love him as if he were their own son?"  
  
No one said a word. Sirius abruptly turned and started to follow Harry up the stairs.  
  
Vernon started forward. "Now, wait just a min-" His words choked to a stop in his throat as Sirius whirled to face him, one hand raised.  
  
"I'm only going to say this once, Dursley. If you lay one finger on me or on Harry, I'll put a whole series of hexes on you that will take months to wear off. I'll give you donkey ears. And make you suffer from loud, continuous flatulence. And cause your skin to break out into painful, oozing sores wherever your clothing touches it. Would that help your career at Grunnings?"  
  
Vernon only gaped at him.  
  
Sirius said quietly, "I asked you a question, Vernon."  
  
It killed Vernon to respond, but he did. In a hoarse whisper he said, "No, it wouldn't help my career." His eyes fell.  
  
Dismissing the Dursleys from his attention, Sirius bounded lightly up the stairs to where Harry stood by the trunk, Hedwig's cage in his hand. "Turn Hedwig loose, Harry. She can fly with us."  
  
Harry's eyes lit up. "Fly? You mean it? We're going to fly on the bike?"  
  
"Remus is anxiously waiting for your arrival and it'll take too long to get home if we have to stay on the roads. Once we're out town, we'll take to the air."  
  
Grinning from ear to ear, Harry released Hedwig out the window. Sirius put the cage on top of the trunk and, with a several quick motions of his wand, said, "Reducto." The trunk shrank to the size of a wallet, and the cage to the size of a key. Sirius stuck them both into pockets of his jacket.  
  
They walked down the stairs to where the Dursleys still stood motionless. "Oh, Harry.these are for you," Sirius said, fishing something out of another pocket. Muttering under his breath, the objects in his hand suddenly turned into a leather jacket the color of deepest mahogany and a helmet of a metallic version of the same color.  
  
"Thanks!" Harry slipped on the jacket, took the helmet and, cocking his head, looked at Sirius.  
  
With the merest twitch of an eyebrow, Sirius asked, "Is there anything you want to say to your relatives before we leave?"  
  
Harry dug into the pockets of his jeans and came up with a piece of paper that he handed to Petunia. "I'm going home, where I belong. Here's my new address, if you should ever need any help from the wizard world." He paused. "I know I should say 'Thank you,' but I can't. I'm sorry."  
  
Petunia suddenly stepped forward. Sirius tensed, not sure if she meant to embrace Harry or strike him, but she stopped short. The muscles in her face trembled and she finally spat out, "Harry, if you leave with that man, don't ever come back and darken our door again! You could have grown up like Vernon, like a good man, a decent man, but, if you want to throw it away and go live with *him* then all I can say is 'Good riddance.'"  
  
Harry's emerald green eyes sparkled warningly. "A good man? A decent man? Aunt Petunia, I'm going to live with someone who's a better man than Uncle Vernon can ever hope to be. I should have lived with him from the start. Everyone would have been happier."  
  
No one responded. Without a backward glance, Harry and Sirius left. Harry held on to Sirius' waist as the bike accelerated down the street. The roads they followed soon led them to sparsely populated areas. Finally, they were alone, rolling fast down a country road. Sirius turned his head back slightly. "Ready, Harry?"  
  
"What do I do?"  
  
"Just hold on. It'll feel something like flying a broom."  
  
With a powerful lift, the bike sprang into the air. The bike suddenly went silent, although Harry could still feel the thrum of its engine between his legs. They climbed high above fields and forests. Harry could see occasional lights in windows of the few houses down below. He didn't know why, but the stars seemed brighter tonight. He caught a glimpse of Hedwig's form off to their right, keeping pace with them. He felt lighter than air and happier than he could ever remember being.  
  
Leaning forward, he shouted, "This is soooo cool!!"  
  
Sirius threw back his head and laughed.  
  
END 


End file.
